Scratch Me

To the tune of Nirvana's song 'Rape Me'. This one is dedicated to Scratchy (if you don't know who he is, please feel free to ask)

Scratch me
Scratch me, my friend
Scratch me
Scratch me again

I'm not the only one, Ah [3x]
I'm not the only one...

Hate me
Do it and do it again
Waste me
Scratch me, my friend

I'm not the only one, Ah [3x]
I'm not the only one...

My favorite inside source
You'll lick my open sores
I appreciate your concern
You're gonna stink and burn

Scratch me
Scratch me, my friend
Scratch me
Scratch me, again

I'm not the only one, Ah [3x]
I'm not the only one...


Scratch me! (Scratch me!)[9x]

Engineering: A Force or Farce?

Having secured my degree in Computer Engineering from the well renowned and reputed University of Mumbai, I am left scouring the country for a job in the IT industry. So far I have been offered jobs in the BPO industry, as a journalist, a mystery shopper and sales manager. Does my B.E. in Computer Engineering have any value at all?

Now this might sound like a lot of whining but it has been a pet peeve of many friends of mine. Some of them no doubt have got jobs in an IT related field but I believe that along with me, undeservedly suffered in our Undergraduate years. Some of them top programmers with profound knowledge of core Computer Science concepts, others enthusiasts in extracurricular work which demonstrated their interest such as Open Source, MultiMedia, Processor Overclocking, PC Case Modding, Robotics and so on. The crux of this argument is that, was all that suffering worth it?

There were some of the most interesting subjects such as CP 1 & 2, TCS, Data Structures, AOA etc. The nature on how these examinations were conducted meant that students went for classes and were spoon fed the knowledge. Now I don't have anything against classes and don't want to take anything away from people's hard work, but it was quite shocking that people still couldn't understand OOP concepts or even C programming for that matter by the final year. Worse still there were many of us who got KTs in these subjects. Don't want to boast here, but c'mon, it's impossible to get a KT after understanding concepts from books written by authors from the cream of the US Universities.

That's the whole problem with this country. You mugg like hell and you'll get a distinction. No practical application of theoretical paradigms. If the foreign universities would grant admission for a truthful Statement of Purpose, I'd say that I just want to get away from this terrible education system. Interest counts for nothing here.

A bigger annoyance was the attitude of many profs in DBIT. They have gone through the whole system themselves and still they decide to inflict punishment upon us harmless beings. Nadir Kunt was one example. Idiot didn't have a minuscule modicum of knowledge and still would play around with people's marks and mess up careers. Other losers were Goonda, The Snake (although he started off well), That Faggot who taught OS and IP and Head Peon to name a few. Scratchy himself personifies incompetent engineering standards in this country. Being a Phd he should've encouraged research, but idiot compares his daughter to students and is a proponent of the spoon feeding industry. May he rot in the depths of Sheol with Cerberus masticating on his ball sac and spitting them into a cauldron of fire and sulfur.

I write this in a state far from sobriety (2 Kingfishers, 1 Cobra, 1 Haywards Black and 1 Baron's), but more than a vent for my frustration, I think it will rile up those who were in a similar situation.

Once again feel free to comment on this. Let me know whether you found Engineering a waste of money and time, even if you have got a job. (you get the same jobs with B.Sc in Physics, Maths, Comp Sci or IT )


Anfeuerungen!

Panned Sh!t

"Full class is coming as well as Extc and IT guys"
- Bhavi Jones

After nearly half a year since graduation our motley gang decided to meet up. Only this time it wasn't just our gang of drunks but so many of the IT industry workforce. Pooh and I hopped onto the luxury 'Vahikal' at BKC and we set off for Panshet (or Bhandhardara according to Ricky). On most occasions this trip would have taken about 7 hours. However we were in for a treat from the bus driver. After picking up the full class, we headed towards Pune. The driver travelled at a blistering 40kmph on the expressway. After travelling over 35kms in the wrong direction, we picked up Shaazia and finally were on our way to the intended destination. The Master of U-turns then decided that he was hungry and we stopped for dinner at 4am at some dhaba where we were served butter chicken with chicken substituted by pineapples by a drunken Sardar who took quite a liking to Rohan. Satiating our palates with some terrible pigeon meat and fruit, we finally got to Panshet in the wee hours of the day. 13 freakin hours (through which Marina slept). According to Lemuel, that's the amount of time he takes to reach Bombay from Hyderabad.

Panshet, however was something to be appreciated in all its rustic splendour. The rural setting was the change we all needed from the urban chaos. (yeah even Nerul and Khopar Khairane would be considered urban compared to Panshet). The Abhiruchi farm house was a cool place for a weekend and that's what we really needed. Two whole days would have made the trip killer since we were dead tired from the bus ride. The only good things about the bus were the Stags and some innovative use of Appy Fizz by Baba Bagade.

We all settled down in our rooms. Some piping hot tea made us feel better.



Some goofballs broke holiday conventions and had a bath. Breakfast was served and people just went about exploring. Following that there were some photo sessions (courtesy Floyd and Shaz) and some gossip sessions (courtesy Shaz).





Some more gossip and card games later (Amy = eternal vice-asshole), lunch was served. I opted for veg (I had my reasons) but I was devastated when I found that cabbage and cauliflower were served. Had to make do with moong and some other dal (which bhavi and nimkar christened with some goofy colloquial name). Vineet and Bhavi downed some alcoholic chaas. Went for a killer hike after that down to the lake. Didn't go prepared and thus came back with a throat parched with dust. Walked around the banks of the lake in hope of finding the jetty for boating which we found later was about more than 10kms away. Of all the people, Mr.Bear decided to break trekking conventions and took a big group (which included girls in their high heels) off the beaten path. Total tp watching them scramble through barbed wire.





Went boating in the evening although we were a bit late due to people nursing their injuries so had to settle for motor boats. By this time I and many others were hit by the lunch, weariness from the bus journey and the trek. Had a light dinner and started my business with Eno, Pudinara, Lomotil etc. (IEM helps. Just ask Pooh, Nivya and Shaz). It was then that Milan and Avinash brought in a supply of refreshments.

We got back to the farm house. Those were the last few moments of the night I do remember. 1/2 bottle of a Russian spirit down neat and I was done for the night. Got up in between to greet Floyd

, tell Shaz to quit talking and to lock myself and be saved from the wrath of the mad Baba, Kirk and Mr. Image Transformation. Had the best sleep ever.



Well that's as much as I could write. There was a little more but I went home early so didn't experience the other trek. Other writers please send in your entries. Ms. Anu, Pooh Pooh, Marina (if you were awake any part of the trip), Shaz (if you could write as much as you could narrate, this blog would be pwning the world), Bhavi.

Cheers
(hic)

The Last Class Of College...........

This was mailed to me by Shaazia ......... changed a few names ........ just try to find yourself in this story


I walked with my best friends across the campus......... towards my class... my final year engineering class. The hour hand at the watch said ... it was ten minutes past 5.... and there was not even a single trace of any life in the college........ except for we three.... me and my best pals ...........

Another ten steps.. and there was our class with the doors shut... !!! we were on the third floor... and the sun setting down in the valley with its orange rays was creating a magical scene. Had a wish that the time stops at that very moment... but it never happens... the seconds hand ticked heavily..... and we opened the doors of the class for one last time...................

Wished i cud ask my teacher..."may i come in.... " and wanted to hear her shout.... "You late again... no attendance..."
but there was no one there... just empty desks.. and we three.... looking at the walls.... and the desks.. all empty... with quotes we wrote ... and the raised platform .. where the torture classes were held... and the last benches.. where we had fun.... laughed .... kicked out.... hiding from the teachers... pleading for attendence............ million memories rolled like a muvee into our minds... and there was complete silence for a moment.. and we smiled ... laughed!!!!!

Walked like heros from the medivial times.... jumped over the benches... had a look at the bench .. where the so called babes of our class used to sit.... hehehe... babes in engineering.... a dream in itself... (no offenses to any babes)... ..

drifted to our place... ... sat there..... side seats...
dint feel like the last day .... dont remember how we met .... how we came to such a stage... feels like i know my friends from ages... feel like as if i was born in this college..... feel like i was always here...

The entire class was still there alive.... the last benchers sleeping.......... the gals chatting amongst themselves........... the teacher in her own world...... KP sitting besides me .... cribbing about something .... Anurag sitting on first bench taking down notes.... and Boytoy smiling at the babes.... Sagar ... trying talking to the gals... and we laughing about something of the other..... me occasionally scribbling something on my notepad............ making some sketches.. or bullshit poetry ............

Ahh.. Sid asking me to look outside... for some babes from FE ... standing there....... and i without even a word...looked outside.. it was an unsaid communication.... Mhatre pinged me... and i, with the same enthu... looked outside... but today there wasnt anybody there................ just the deserted corridor.......... and i cud see the mechanical department at the end... no one there..................

looked back..... but there was Rahooooool .. in his dream world.... not scribbling anything in his notebook... not laughing this time.... not sayin anything this time........... just sitting there.. and there was Amie ... and there was me ..... and a few more .....

"roll number 23.......... "
"roll number 23............ royston .... u sleeping again........ "
"Ok fine............. roll number 24"
"....................... hey .. present ma'm............ "
"you sleep dear...!!! no attendence for you................."


No attendence.... the class has ended... and my friends... chatting and laughing .... going for a chai... aur a samossa..... aur a lemon juice...

and we sat there ..... sat there all alone ......... closed our eyes, for the entire world outside the walls of the campus was calling us..............

Wanted to attend one last lecture........ but this time there was no one to take that last lecture..............

and there was that door... open... and we wished all the time .. to run away .... to bunk.. but this time it wasnt..... one last time.... one last time............ attended the class.... with no one.. just we three...

HOW TO brainstorm for SOP ideas

Yeah I've been using Linux for a while hence the title seems apt. Anyway since most people are heading to the land of booze and money for further studies, a good essay carries a lot of weight in the application process. Colleges will give an eye catching essay nearly 30% weightage. This can help compromise your poor GRE score if you make sure you write this essay to the point. To get started you'll have to brainstorm for ideas to go about writing the essay. Here are some tips:

To each question write about 3-4 lines in a rough book. The answers to these questions can form a good base to your SOP

1. What are your influences? What particular thing in a subject draws you to it?
In my sop i stated that i like Software Engineering because of the methodical approach to development and Security because it is a neverending challenge to keep one's system safe in the world of rapid technological transition.

2. This can be addendum to the previous question. Which exam that you've taken has been the best one? State some reasons why you think it tested your knowledge in the subject and how you proceeded with it.

Well i had terrible acads but I did well in Object Oriented Analysis and Design and since my interests lie in that field I mentioned that specific exam.

3. Single most important concept that hooked you?
My example was Open Source and Linux. Ever since i was introduced to Linux in TE, i have been addicted to the freedom it offers from a central authoritative entity.

4. Have any profs said any encouraging words about you?

5. How has your interest evolved?
I mentioned IT boom in our country and a good chance to startup a company in India for which a Master's degree will help. If your B.E. project was related to your interest then mention it.

6. Any experiences as a traveller?
I was fortunate to go to Canada to experience the way Western Education is conducted which got me interested in higher studies. You might have some experiences which you can jot down.

7. Reasons for pursuing M.S.?
This is what colleges want to see. While you're making a rough draft truthfully jot down what comes to your mind. My rough ideas were higher salaries, working on latest technology, starting my own company, specializing in a field of interest and laughing at people wasting time slogging in India for $500 a month. Just remember to put the better points in your final draft.

8. Have you done anything constructive in the time since grad? Have you prepared yourself? Honed any skills?

9. Professors from target university whose research you find aligned with your academic interests?
You'll have to read up on the research activities of profs at the colleges you're aiming for.

10. After giving them what they want, give them what you want.
Clearly defined career plans, your image of future career goals, anticipated contributions to your field and to society in general.

11. Personal info
Extra curriculars, hobbies etc.


Hope all this helps. Just take a day to plan it out, write it, modify it and then get it proofread by someone good in English.

Comments will be welcome. Guys like Sagar, Bhavi, Saurin, Vineet let me know what you think since you guys have gone through the whole procedure.

Thank





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